Something Crazy Has Happened

for all my avid readers out there (and i'm sure there must be millions by now...and by millions i mean jon and my parents), i must apologize for my lack of blogging activities. maybe it is due to my busyness, or the fact that it takes me forever to get my thoughts out on paper, but maintaining a blog is like a full time job!

the latest news: jon and i are engaged! wow - it is finally happening. i am still totally getting used to just the idea of getting married! as in, i look down at this beautiful ring on my finger and i just wonder at what this ACTUALLY means - in terms of my relationship with jon, in terms of my goals, his goals, in terms of this impact on my family and friends, and just how things are going to change. it's weird but for the first time in my life, i don't feel 'too young' for any of this. i have never felt more right about it, because it feels so incredibly natural, because i know jon and i are right for each other, and because at the end of the day i am so completely ready to move forward in our relationship - to make commitments and to share our lives together. it's hard to describe because for so long i wasn't ready for marriage (you've probably all heard my rant about how i didn't want to get married until i was done school), so i keep asking myself 'what really changed?' truthfully, i don't know - maybe i was finally being honest with myself, maybe i am finally growing up to some extent, or maybe these types of things just kind of delightfully surprise you and you suddenly realize that you've been ready all along. whatever the reason - i am just honestly pumped about it all, and feel totally at peace with the whole situation.

Please consider these last couple of pics a measurement of how excited jon and i are right now.^

Snow Covered Hills

"SKIERS KNOW THE SOUND. IT'S LIKE AN ice scraper cutting through the glaze on a windshield, only it gets louder and louder, and it is accompanied by the whoops and wails of the truly possessed. Upon hearing it, the smart skier moves off to the side of the trail. He or she knows that an avalanche of snowboarders is coming."

this quote makes me laugh, because it is so true. just this past weekend jon and i were up at blue mountain in collingwood, ON and it's amazing to see how few skiers there are. it's a generational thing, where skiers view snowboarders as a menace and snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd. its a constant battle where the air is fat, and there's nothing more tempting then fresh powder.

i myself am TOTALLY guilty of annoying an occasional skier or two....i'm sorry, but i think it is some sort of genetic defect that prevents me from not falling from the chair lift when i'm getting off with my board, to result in a huge pile of spandexed skiers at the top of the hill. i apologize, i don't know why i can't do it smoothly, but i stand by the fact that it is tricky, despite what certain people may say.



with that said, don't you think that there is something completely freeing and breathtaking about snowboarding? to me it's so much more than just a sport. it is a chance to just allow yourself to let go, to let gravity take over, and to just fly down the hill as fast as you possibly can, preferably beating jon at the end of it. it's an excuse to be happy (if those types of excuses exist)... where you can forget your troubles, your worries, and just be joyous. i find myself laughing out loud all the way down the hill, which seems ridiculous but is extremely therapeutic. i highly recommend it. speaking of ridiculous, check out this sumo ski jumper pic that i happened to stumble across today. did not know that such a sport existed, but hey - why not?

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Window Washer

....today i was casually eating my lunch at my desk, reading a paper. i looked up and noticed that there was a window washer outside cleaning the windows. he was dangling from some sort of rig and didn't have a platform or anything, which i was kind of surprised by. as i work on the 11th floor, i immediately became intrigued by this young man who would so casually allow his life to dangle from some sort of string, so high above the busy streets below, in the middle of dead winter, just so that i could have the pleasure of looking through non-streaked windows. as i sat there watching, caught up in my own thoughts, i suddenly realized that the man had stopped his busy washing and had written 'HI' in the soapy water, backwards so that i could read it. i totally didn't realize i had been staring, and jumped huge. he laughed, i gave a sheepish wave, and then he continued on his merry window washing way.

i'll admit, i was slightly embarrassed at first. but then realized that the beauty of living in a city full of strangers is that if you do something embarrassing, chances are the people who saw it will never see you again.

therefore, today has taught me that no matter how totally impersonal, crowded and business-like a city like toronto can make you feel sometime, you can have these totally original moments that just kind of make you smile and appreciate the quirkiness and fun that downtown life can bring.

believe it.

A Quote to Live By

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~ Marianne Williamson